Willow Tree

Moving!!!

2004-08-06T06:22:00.000+03:00

There's a new home for:
Willow Tree

Please stop by when you can. Excuse the boxes and suitcases flung all about; everything should be unpacked and put away soon.

Two Conversations and A Question

2004-08-05T06:18:00.000+03:00

Scene:
I am lying on my five year old's bed, snuggling with her prior to her going to sleep.
Suddenly she drops her head onto my chest.

"You see" I say, "You are tired."
She lifts up her head. "I heard your heart"
"Of course"
"Where you breathing?"
"I am always breathing."
"What happens if your heart and lungs stop."
"Well, you die."
"Why do they stop?"
"Sometimes G-d decides it is time for us to die."
"Oh. But first we make the Moshiach (Messiah)"
"We have to bring the Moshiach. Do you know how?"
"I know, I know. By not fighting and doing bad things."

then later she says:

"I wish you weren't so old."
"Why?"
"Old is bad, bad, bad."
"Why?"
"Because sooner you'll die."
"I won't die for a long, long, time. By then you'll be big."
"Oh." she says, and settles happily down on my chest again.

Which brings me to this question Is there an age where, even if one can have children naturally, it is too old to do so?

The Wondeful World of Parenting

2004-08-04T12:08:00.000+03:00

After Abortion linked to several discussions, both pro -choice and pro-life on abortion, Amy Richards and that "I had an Abortion" t-shirt. . One particular poster, Amanda of Mouse Words, caught my eye; not in terms of abortion but in terms of the recent spate of articles on pregnant moms. Amanda states:

The question this article tries to answer is, "Why is there a recent onslaught of pregnant women all over the gossip rags?" The answer seems clear to me--we're in the midst of a media backlash against women, and just as celebrities are used to make the rest of us feel not attractive enough, not rich enough, and not talented enough, they are now being used to make women feel not pregnant enough. It's the logical extension of the nauseating Super Mommy interviews with celebrity moms that Susan Douglas and Meredith Michaels mock mercilessly in The Mommy Myth. You know the articles. They're the ones where the talented and beautiful actress cradles her perfect baby and claims that nothing in the world is more wonderful than motherhood, that it's pure ectasy all the time. Lesson: if you don't want to be a mommy more than anything in the world and/or if you don't love every minute of it, then you are doing something wrong.

Mothering, as almost anyone will tell you, is hard work. It is the hardest job youll ever love, as the saying goes.

It is also the hardest job youll ever hate. Ask any mom and demand the truth. Mothering is hard work, and takes a lot out of a person. There are days, there are weeks, where nothing goes right. Meltdowns, temper-tantrums, sicknesses, misbehaviour, disrespect come with the territory; these do not breed feelings of love and harmony, but frustration, anger, dislike, guilt and embarrassment.

Several years ago there was a right-to-life commercial on television which featured, through a hazy lens, a mom-to-be, surrounded by five or six preternaturally happy children.

Dan didn't hit Greg and Patricia didn't try to usurp Alexs position near mom. Everyone had well combed hair, and clean clothes.No one was crying. No one was demanding mom get them this, or where was that. Everyone had on his or her socks and shoes. No child was picking their nose, no had an accident, no one was trying to take someone elses toy away, no one even had dirty knees!

Of course it was only a commercial; but the unfortunate implication of the commercial was; this is how it is.

And it isnt. Life with kids is a constant struggle. It is hard. It takes time, energy, money and patience. There are days parents will think; Why did I do this? or: I am going to strangle that child or: I cant do this anymore. And picture, in their minds eye, running away to a childless place.

But most parents stay. They pick the screaming child off the floor and wash off the childs face, or put the child to bed, or insist they give Gwen back the toy, or whatever. They clean up the mess and go on. But that anger is there. Anger, resentment, bitterness. These are normal feelings, and all part of parenting. Having them, feeling them about one's children is not a sign of poor parenting . Frankly, if some parent claims to be happy all the time with their kids then either they are 1) lying 2)on something or 3)alien, or 4)someone else is taking care of all the grunt work.

Of course there is also love, joy and pride. The screaming child quiets down and says "I love you from the bottom of the floor all the way to the moon! or gives you a piece of their pretzel- a piece you can actually see! Or draws a picture, just for you. Or gives you a long smoochy kiss, or a big hug. Or tells you that when they grow up they are going to still live with you, dont worry. They work and work and accomplish something; a new milestone in their life.

Sometimes it is just the way they lift their head, or how their eyes dance on seeing a butterfly, or the look of their faces when they sleep; quiet and sweet. Inside you something pops, something spreads through you; a joy of love for having the fortune to be parent to this child.

At least, that is this mom's feelings.

I Just Promised

2004-08-04T10:52:00.000+03:00

To take care of my neighbors plants. What am I, nuts? I kill plants! Plants have been known to commit hari kari upon seeing me move towards them with a watering can. I am wanted in three states for malicious gardening. The Roots and Shoots society has me on their most wanted list. There are hit-plants on my tail (the real reason we immigrated to Israel; plants can't fly in!)

And I promised to take care of my neighbors plants.
(sigh) I am nuts.

Palestinians Stranded?

2004-08-04T09:51:00.000+03:00

Have you heard about all those poor Palestinians trapped in Egypt because wicked Israel isn't letting them go home? Want more facts?

About 2 weeks ago, Israel closed the Rafah international border crossing, due to suspected tunnel building. The terrorist planned to rig the tunnel with explosives.

But Israel did not want all those Palestinians who had entered Egypt to be stranded in Egypt. It would take time to find the tunnels. So that people could return home, Israel opened up a new border crossing, the Nitzana crossing. It is prepared. It is ready to be open. All those people stranded could go home.

IF the PA would process those wanting to come in. Which the PA refuses to do.

So who has kept those Palestinians stranded?

You can read more here and here.

Note the date on the two article above.
Then read here.
(similar articles aboud.)

And ask yourself; why is Israel still getting blamed for this?

Stealing from Kids

2004-08-04T08:43:00.000+03:00

Several weeks ago I wrote on a problem that Operation Give was having with the Atlas Shipping Company

Operation Give brings toys to children in Iraq, bringing joy to these battle scarred children. Chief Wiggles is a memember of the National Guard and one day he noticed a tired, dirty, sad, little child. To cheer her up he gave her some small presents. That was the birth of Operation Give.

Recently they sent some toys to the children via Atlas Shipping company. Because of the situation in Iraq, deposit money was required for each of the three shipping containers that were sent out. Well the Atlas Shipping company KEPT the money that was to have been wired on to Kuwait causing a delay in the children recieving their gifts and causing Operation Give to find alternative shipping methods.

Please read the full account here, and whatever you can do please help. I can not possibly summarize the whole situation here effectivel.

When I originally wrote about this situation, I kept the words low key, because I had hoped it was simply a matter of some small mistake or problem in the accounting. I no longer believe that is the case. This, as Rosemary, The Queen of all Evil states, is theft of the lowest form.

Weird and Wacky

2004-08-03T16:52:00.000+03:00

Guy, you can now tell your wives that ties are no good, rotten instruments that will damage your eyes! Say "NO" to these instruments of torture, these cruel pieces of cloth! "Tieless IS well dressed!" BURN THE TIES!!!!

And teens, take note; eating slugs from the garden is NOT worth $20. One child died from this so it is serious.

Yep, she is dangerous; who knows what was in that candy bar!!!! Arrest those vile eaters! We've nothig else to worry about.

This guy was just in the wrong profession. Um, don't they check credentials first?

And finall, I would have to say no to this alternative of wood based paper. YUCK!!!! What will the think of for the ink?

WooHoo!!!!

2004-08-03T16:17:00.000+03:00

More are coming! A plane full of new immigrants are coming tomorrow; over 250 new Israeli citizens! (Picture Rachel Ann doing the happy dance.....on second thought that image is a bit disturbing as Rachel Ann looks very silly doing the happy dance, but on third thought, who cares?)
happy dance, happy dance !!!

Last month there were about 450 new immigrants brought from Canada and the USA by Nefesh B'nefesh, and over the next few weeks we can expect several hundred more. That's how we got here (thank you Rabbi Fass, thank you!!!)

Has this been your dream? Don't think you can do it? I'm proof you are wrong. It is hard work, it won't be easy, but it is possible.

And it is worth it.

Nefesh B'nefesh is accepting applications for the next years aliyah right now! Winter, until Sept 1rst, Spring, Jan 1rst 2005, and Summer, Feb 1rst 2005.

Come on! Come up to Israel!!!! and then I'll be doing the happy dance, happy dance !!! for you.

It is the best decision I and my family have ever made.

Back of the Bus?

2004-08-03T10:22:00.000+03:00

Rahel from Elms in the Yard (new to my blogroll) commented on a recent opinion piece by
Naomi Regan about being berated on a bus by a Charedi man for not sitting in the back of the bus. Rahel suffered similar abuse at the hands of a Charedi man.

Both of these experiences are contemptible.
This is not Torah being put into practice.

Fortunately, I think, it does not represent most Charedi men. Like people throughout the world, there are Charedi and Orthodox Jews who are bombastic, pompous and egocentric. There are other's (as Rahel points out with a specific example) who emulate Moshe Rabbienu; humble, kind,always seeking the good for the other. I am fortunate that most of my experiences have been with the latter. For the most part, I'm treated with respect by Charedi men; they may be reserved, but they are not unfriendly or unhelpful, and I while I would most likely approach a woman for help first (simply as I am more comfortable to do so,) when I have asked help of Charedi men, they have given it to me, politely and kindly. They have even given me a seat on the bus without my asking for it-- and I don't look all that old!

It is important to speak about this and to ask that the Rabbis speak against such behaviour; but it is also important to point out that it isn't,from my observation, the norm. Most are kind, caring, gentle people, who do their best to act in accordance with Torah law.

UPDATE
a charedi woman gives her views on this issue.
While I disagree with her on her conclusions, she does bring a different perspective to the debate. (she does not, however, condone the actions of the man in question.)

Dr. Maggot?

2004-08-03T07:09:00.000+03:00

If you have a wound that just won't heal, don't be too shocked if your doctor suggests maggots.
Dr.Ronald Sherman has been advocating the use of maggots on wounds that have failed to respond to normative treatment since the 1990's but this past January FDA approved these tiny creatures as medicine, the first time live animals have received that rating.

The maggots not only eat the tissue, but they also a substance within them that disinfects the wounds. About three years ago, a woman by the name of Pam Mitchell, (photos not for the squeamish) who is diabetic, was in danger of losing her foot to amputation do to a wound that would not heal. Maggots saved the day.

The maggots are disinfected, don't ask me how! and placed in a cage-like device over the wound and allowed to do their work. According to according to Dr. Mostow.(same article as above) "They debride wounds by dissolving the necrotic, infected tissue; they disinfect the wound, by killing bacteria; and they stimulate the healing process,"

Leeches are also being used in medical practices. I know that is old news to many.

Leeches help restore blood circulation by getting rid of all the bad blood and get the new blood to circulate, helping with reattachment and grafting processes.

If you want more, look here; after that, you got to search on your own.

Now, if they find a medical value to lice I'm in big trouble. I had my defense all planned out; I'd be up before G-d and all my past sins before me, and I was going to raise my hand and say "LICE"!, reminding G-d of all the fun we have had with the little critters when the kids were young. And G-d would have to agree I'd been punished enough already during my lifetime.

Don't Read This!!

2004-08-02T19:39:00.000+03:00

Whatever you do, don't go here! I'm warning you! Stay far away from this post! If you go, at least close your eyes!!!!

You went didn't you? You looked didn't you? (sigh)

Can't say I didn't warn you ;-).

Blame Ilyka, she just gives Jim too many ideas.
(and after you don't go there and don'tlook, go here and wish Jim a happy birthday, and here and wish Ilyka a happy blogversary.)

Love is a Verb: The Passing Of Alex Scott

2004-08-02T12:30:00.000+03:00

Love to me is not a noun. It is not a statement of feeling. Love is an action; it means willingly giving of yourself for the sake of another. That doesn't always mean it is easy to give; at 2 a.m., most parents aren't cheerful, listening to an patient with dementia repeat the same story over and over again can try most people's patience. But these are labors of love.

This is also love:

Zero Boss and Catawampus both posted about the passing of a young girl who lived love, Alex Scott died of cancer in the loving arms of her parents yesterday. When just four this young girl began a lemonade stand to raise money for the hospital treating her and other children suffering from cancer. She had raised over $700,000. A donation ito Alex's Lemonade Stand is a beautiful way to honor her memory and to help save other children. Let this disease become a distant memory to the next generation.

This is Dedicated to the One's I Love

2004-08-02T06:48:00.000+03:00

No, not my family; although I love them too. This is dedicated to people I will most likely never meet. This is dedicated to my penpals.

I have been penpalling for many years now. I write to people from many countries; UK, US, Sweden, Norway, Australia, Germany. Some I have been writing to for years; some for only a few months. Letters are sometimes frequent, sometimes a month or more may lapse in between. Letters cover the mundane; what is for dinner, or what's in their garden, to personal; health issues or family troubles, to the esoteric; philosophy and the meaning of life. For some, English is a second language, and they may struggle over words or grammar. Some write short letters, some letters could fill a chapter in a book. Married, divorced, single, with children or without, living in the city, or out in the country. Written by hand, typed, beautiful stationary, or notebook paper. I get a letter and I am happy.

People share their lives with me, and for that I am honored. I share my life with them and I am thankful for the privilege.

Penpalling gives me hope. On good days the letters are like an extra piece of chocolate found in the fridge; the perfect end to a wonderful day. On bad days they are a glass of cool water for the thirsty; refreshing, cleansing.

I am in many ways and idealist, but an idealism tinged with pragmatism. I know within my bones that there is an Eden in the future; a place where wars are myth and hatred the nightmare of the past, where troubles are simply puzzles; a solution will be found. Each sorrow will have its balm. But the journey to this world is up to us; how painful, how gentle, depends on the decisions we make. Destruction is always necessary to build; but how we go about it, how we wage our wars, what we choose to fight as a world, that is what determines how we will meet our Eden.

Most people want what I want; love, money enough to get what they need and a bit extra for some treats, time to spend with family and friends, a bit of quiet time for themselves, jobs that are satisfying, good food, a healthy environment.

Too care for and be cared about; to reach out past oneself. To give and recieve. To battle for each other against the evils of the world; hate,cruelty,violence,poverty, injustice,disease. We pull together against wrong for each other, and we will find peace.

Penpalling gives me hope for a better, more connected world.

How do you find hope?

Are your hands treepy?

2004-08-01T18:11:00.000+03:00

My hands are treepy about building a house. My 5 year old daughter's hands were treepy about peeling potatos and said 5 year old wants to know if your hands are treepy about anything.

Being five is a wonderful age; if you don't know something, make it up! A word is missing from the English language, voila! A five year old will invent it for you. There is so much that is still a mystery to them, but they are still so sure of themselves that they feel no fears in adding to the body of human knowledge, confident that what they have to add will be accepted by everyone.

So, again, I ask; are your hands treepy about anything? They are if they aren't use to doing something.

Now, I happen to think that is a good word!

Action is Overdue

2004-08-01T12:04:00.000+03:00

For the first time in it's history, the USA Holocaust Museum has declared a "genocide emergency" in the Darfur region of Sudan.. The US congress passed a bipartisan resolution declaring the violence as genocide. Adults babies, children, are being murdered, tortured and enslaved. . The UN is dithering about as usual, allowing the Sudanese government 30 days to change its ways. 30 days seems much too long for me; a week at most. French troops from Chad are already on their way to the area., and UK troops are on standby.

Spiced Sassy has written about this numerous time. (Zee, please feel free to send me what you think are your best links, or post them in the comments.) Zee has been shouting about this for some time.

Yesterday was the time to act. No more sanctions, no more resolutions, no more waiting; we need actions; before one more child is burned to death, before one more young girl is raped., before one more citizen is slaughtered.

Now.

Alien Alert

2004-08-01T10:24:00.000+03:00

Beware parents of the world. There are aliens among us. Cunning aliens.

They are using toys.

Toys you say? Yes toys. Specifically those toys that make noise.
Talking dolls. Talking buses. Talking pianos. Innocent toys indeed!
These vicious,vile creations are designed to entice well meaning aunts and grandparents with thoughts of lovely little children rocking their babies, or learning to count the fun and friendly way.
Over and over again the grating sounds of "mama, I love you" or "A see the Alligator, B ride the bus" or "London Bridge" all at decibels guaranteed to slowly destroy the minds of all adults.
Then, when we are simpering, drooling fools, the aliens will come down. Oh, they will charm us, offering us an end to our torture, and we will gladly acquiesce to all their "little" requests. Massaging their yardis, preparing their (stinky) palage , cleaning their---oh, I can't say it! It is much too awful!

Well, I'm on to you, you alien scum!!!! I will not let you enslave the earth! UNITE PARENTS OF THE WORLD!!!! DEFEAT THE ALIENS!!! DON'T LET THESE TOYS INTO YOUR HOUSE!!!!

Evil Mom!

2004-07-31T21:45:00.000+03:00

I am such a mean mommy.

I forced my 10 year old, who is painfully, worrisomely shy, to go visit a girl from her class, and then, when it turned out that the girl was going to visit another friend, I made her go along. I made her go despite her "stomach ache" and her "hurting legs" and all the other psychosomatic illnesses that occured. Cruel, but victorious. She stayed and played for about three hours and admittedly had a good time.

Not that it won't be hard to get her to go next week. Yes, I going to make her go again. And again. And again, till she no longer complains.

Joking aside, this is a serious problem for her, and I can relate. I have a hard time often relating to people face to face; I've always thought it had to do with my hearing difficulties, and the fact that I have an overall oral comprehension problem. There are times when someone will say something to me; oh, say, Would you like more whipped cream on that? And though all the words make sense, my mind will sometimes take a little longer to comprhend the question than normal. I also have a great deal of time stating what I want, and my tongue gets twisted over the most simple of statements. Writing is much easier, more natural to me, even though my grammar and spelling are atrocious, my feelings are easier this way. I guess that is one reason I love reading so much.

Back to my daughter. I remember hating being pushed out the door when I was young, but unlike my daughter I really didn't have fun; I was always nervous and on edge. One thing about my E, is she is not as concerned with how people think about her. I don't know if it was how we raised her or her natural state, but she is fairly strong in doing what she thinks is right.

But her shyness; her fear of others. I wish I understood where it was coming from.
I have tried to talk about it with her; she knows the girls like her, she knows that they will help her learn Hebrew, and she doesn't mind if they come here and play. She doesn't know why she is so shy. She just isn't good about meeting the girls, putting herself forward. (If this was just a "since we moved to Israel thing, I would think "language problem." but she is shy with girls who speak English, and was shy in USA also.)

So I force her out the door and I feel cruel. She has a decent time, and I feel "I did the right thing" but then again I worry that maybe I'm pushing her too much, or not enough, or that I should be doing something else.

Argh!!!

And I just don't know; I don't think any parent really does. I kind of feel that no parent really knows how well of a job they have done until their great-grandchildren are buried and I hope not to be around for that.

So does anyone else have shy kids? Was anyone else shy as a kid? Anyone have any advice they want to kick my way?

This is NOT what I want to hear before Shabbat

2004-07-30T16:41:00.000+03:00

Not what I want to hear anytime. Three blasts in Tashkent, Uzbekistan; the Israeli embassy, the USA embassy and the prosecutors office too apparently.

And here in Israel, another rocket attack on Sedrot. Luckily there were no fatalities.

I have a nice conversation with my daughter in US, then come down and log onto this computer and see the headlines.

I am so glad Shabbat is coming and I won't be able to turn into the news.
Throw some happiness this week. Someone leave me a happy tag. Tell me something wonderful that occured to you today. A funny cat story. A cute thing your kid said.

Too much!

Another Teen

2004-07-30T14:13:00.000+03:00

Another knife. I was taking a break from Shabbat preparations (okay, yes I do take too many of those) and reading the Jerusalem Post, skimming through the In Jerusalem section and I see, in the City Notes page a headline

PALESTINIAN TEEN WITH KNIFE ARRESTED.

(I'd give you a link but I can't find it online. If someone finds it, tag me please!) Okay, Rachel Ann is still standing. This is no longer news. Then I read the article; it is only two sentences. The teen was 13, he is armed with a kitchen knife, and his plan? Stab a policeman at the checkpoint.

I don't know why I'm upset. In March they caught a ten year olds with a bomb strapped to him. Maybe it is just because I think kids that are ten and thirteen should be playing, oh, I don't know, football (soccer) maybe? Catch with their dads?

Then there was a 17 year old stabbed in a brawl. I know, I know, this has been going on for years. It just makes me ill.

Unbelievable!

2004-07-30T11:15:00.000+03:00

Damn savages! Linda shouts,

and she is right. What kind of bottom feeders think that strapping a rocket to a rabbit and lighting the fuse is fun? One liar claims he rescued Lucky the Rabbit from the water so she wouldn't drown. Sure; does he really think anyone is buying that? Oh, I can't wait to see these jerks defense.

And these are lifeguards. Lifeguards!!!! Anyone feel safe with them watching over you?

What You Get

2004-07-30T07:06:00.000+03:00

Y is the 12 year old girl I take care of, four afternoons a week, for 1 hour. I've blooged about her before.

It isn't always pleasant taking care of Y. She quite often smells; I mean a nauseating, feel the bile in your throat smell. She isn't toilet trained, and that contributes; she also has bad teeth, most likely owing to the difficulty in 1)brushing and examining the teeth of a child who probably can't understand "now spit into the sink" "open your mouth" 2) her digestive problems; she vomits often enough that if she only vomits a little and does it no more than twice that particular day, I no longer think it something to call to her parents' attention.

Of course I have to clean her up then; also not a pleasant task.

And those hands I am holding? Where have they been?

She doesn't talk; she makes various vocalizations, sometimes quite loud, but nothing even approaching the babbling of a baby.

It is just as often boring; there are days she does nothing but lie on her bed, sucking her thumb. Even if she is doing something, what she is doing is twisting her finger against her thumb, or smacking herself in the side of the head, or occasionally clapping her hands.

Getting her up the stairs can be a chore. She might sit down at the bottom of the stairs and then I have to pull this child, who is almost as tall as I am, back up to a standing position. Worse, she might decided to sit down on the stairs. Or lean back, almost causing us both to fall down the stairs.

She grinds her teeth.

She drools.

She is a messy eater.

And to top it off, it is extremely doubtful that I register much in her mind at all. Someone could come into her life tomorrow, do exactly what I do, and she wouldn't notice I am gone.

Do you want this job? For what amounts to a little less than $5 an hour?

Rivka of Respectful of Otters asks a question. What would you do if the Prenatal Diagnosis Fairy had some bad news. (Please read her post. It is extremely well written and potent.)

Unlike Rivka, Y is likely to remain as dreary as I have described. Most likely she will be as she is now for the rest of her life. There is not a whole lot of hope here for her to begin living anything more than a completely dependent life.

What if the Prenatal Diagnosis Fairy was able to determine, yes, this child has autism.

As of now (to the best of my searching abilities) there is no genetic testing for autism as of yet, though as the doctors answers discloses, there is genetic testing for some diseases which have autistic behaviour. But if there were?

I am not her mother, and that isn't something I could decide for her,though I can guess she would welcome her daughter into her arms anyway.

But as for me, am I glad Y is here?

Absolutely. Y has taught me many things.

She has taught me the value of giving without any expectation that of receiving back; no gratitude, no acknowledgement even that what I do for her is appreciated or noticed in anyway.

She has taught me to feel triumphant in the little things; if she looks at me and sees me, if she claps her hands after I have done so.

She has taught me patience; it can take a long time to teach and autistic child anything.

She has taught me that I can give, and give and give and that by giving I grow stronger.

She has taught me to appreciate the abilities I have.

If she were ever cured I would dance in the streets till I dropped from exhaustion, sing till my voice gave out. I would see such elation that it would be like tasting a bit of heaven.

Do I wish she were born healthy of body and mind? Yes, of course yes. Could another have taught me these same things? Yes, of course yes. But Y is the one who taught me these things, not as mere adages but as truths. And for that, I am glad she is in my life.

Goodbye to a great man

2004-07-30T06:02:00.000+03:00

Francis Crick died on Wednesday from colon cancer. Francis Crick, along with James Watson were the men who discovered the structure of genes; a discovery that recieved scant attention at the time. But from shrugs come bravos, as the scientist learned to code, decipher and eventually use the information to find cures for genetic diseases. (there is lots more on the site.) Science has come quite a long way in a few years.

One quote from Dr.Crick, found in the article, stood out in my mind .
“

A man who is right every time is not likely to do very much.”

It is an important idea to grasp, especially for children. Great success if often aquired only after numerous failures. It is okay to fail. It is okay to be wrong. It is okay to have an idea that just doesn't pan out, that is, on reflection, silly. But have the ideas, go down the wrong trail. Fail a bit. Because you can't be right all the time.

Francis Crick and James Watson gave us the building blocks to a different, hopefully better,future. But that lies within our hands, and the science of the future. Right now, I just want to say thanks and goodbye, to a great scientist.

4:45 am

2004-07-30T05:31:00.000+03:00

Soft little hands wake me up, wanting to come into my bed. Arms go around me, I settle in to go back to sleep for an hour,perhaps. Yesterday was the last day of camp. No one has to wake early.

Little arms uncurl. She descends. "where are you going?"
"to the bathroom."
"Okay" snuggle back in bed, try and sleep again.
Little voice calls from the door. "It's dark! I'm scared!"
"Okay."
I rise. I look. No child. I find her safely enscounced in her own bed.
"where'd you go?"
"It's dark in there. I'm sleeping in my bed."
I climb back in bed. Too late. Now I'm wide awake.
It's 4:50
COFFEE TIME!!! No wonder I look like a raccon.
Maybe lack of sleep is the cause of this.
Seriously, you all owe that guy an apology.

In other shocking news:
It is impossible to teach a dog to mop the floor. You either have to mop the floor AGAIN or claim that the prints are a new form of tile decoration. I'm going for the latter.

Reading for DISpleasure

2004-07-29T07:58:00.000+03:00

A few days ago Joanne posted about the type of reading materials for young people today.

There are good books of course; I am not denying that. But some of what is turned out by writers is just disgusting.

About twelve years ago, when my oldest was about 10, she came to me with a book that terrified her. It was one of those books that you get from the school book fair. What could be so horrible?

Try: adolescent serial killer. And it wasn't a joke. The story featured a kid of about 10 who got revenge on all her older sister's friends who had the gall to go on with life after her sister was brain damaged in a riding accident. The book starts with the accident and continues on from there, including the suicide of the ten year old.

THIS IS APPROPRIATE READING FOR AN ADOLESCENT!!! Yeah I'm shouting. I don't see anyone who would find that book fulfilling. What a horrifing concept and what editor allowed it past their desk. I wish I remembered the name of the book but it went out into the trash.

All books don't have to have heavy duty moral concepts in them; but most good books do teach something. FOG MAGIC teaches children about loss in a very subtle way. BEHIND THE BEDROOM WALL teaches about the Holocaust,courage,and standing up for what is right. One of my favorite books, MOMO, by Michael Ende, teaches so many different ideas that it is hard for me to annotate. There is fear and saddness in all these books. Many books deal with painful subjects; but an adolescent doesn't need ugliness thrust into their head.

There is so many years for a child to learn about the ugliness of the world. Let them learn the beautiful first; the shield and sword that allows them to conquer the
evil.

They Call Me the Wander

2004-07-29T06:09:00.000+03:00

Oh yeah, I'm the type of gal that likes to roam around

And I roamed over to Robin of CCJELLYBEANS is asking if the DNC is a law unto themselves in Smoking ban lifted for DNC

I'm never in one place I roam from blog to blog

And someone needs a hug for a week of hell.

And when I find myself fallin' for some blogger

Here's a woman who'll give you good advice.

I tap right onto that keyboard of mine drive around the blogworld

And the Key Monks happy someone was on the ball. And so am I.

'Cause I'm a wanderer yeah the wanderer
I roam around around around around around around

And the Spoon is telling you who to support. Charities or for his fun, he thinks that's the way.

'Cause I'm a wanderer yeah the wanderer
I roam around around around around around around around

And Jeff is talking about the nature of trust. He has some interesting things to say whether you agree with him or not.

'Cause I'm a wanderer I'm a wanderer

And Zero Boss tells pregnant dads what for.

I hope you liked this tour of some of my friends. Go roam and have fun, but be sure to come back again.

Plugging Jim's Newest Site!

2004-07-28T21:41:00.000+03:00

Protomonkey is here! (okay, so I'm a litttttle late in getting this in) Become informed! Learn what the heck a protomonkey is, and other amazing facets of Jim;s (the amazing talent behind Snooze Button Dreams), life.
You don't want to miss it!

(truth; Snooze Button is on my daily read. I rarely miss it, and I'm going to keep on checking up on Protomonkey as well. Jim always has something funny or interesting to say. Try him out if you haven't already! Um, just a bit of advice; put down that mug of coffee first and swallow before reading. And don't say I haven't warned you!)

BabyStupid

2004-07-28T12:35:00.000+03:00

Tulip girl recently posted about a theory of parenting called Babywise that I feel teaches nothing less than cruelty to children. Babies have become seriously ill because parents have used this system of childrearing. I thought it had long since fallen out of favor. Unfortunately, I am apparently wrong. New parents seeking any advice that they can sometimes fall for the bullcrap in this book that takes the place of good common sense, love, and a mother's good instincts.

I'm not going into it the theories. I think the link I provided gives enough evidence against its use (as well as similar techniques.)What I will tell you as a mom of five is this:

Babies cry for a reason. They have a problem and they need the problem fixed. They may be thirsty, or hungry, or tired, or need a diaper change, or have a tummy ache or just want the warmth of your arms about them, as they miss the closeness of the womb.
Don't fear spoiling your little ones. A few minutes of mild crying is okay, sometimes babies need that to fall asleep. But if the crying doesn't stop, gets stroner, or your child really sounds distressed, pick the child up. If you are exhausted from lack of sleep and feel at the edge; mom and dad you need to spell each other, call a good friend and beg for help, get a babysitter for an hour or so a day (even if you can't afford it.Its important.) see if there aren't any "rent a grandma" services in town. Knock on the door of the door of your neighbor who sits on the porch and watches eveyone go by.

And moms,listen to your instincts. So many times they are spot on. If you think something is wrong check it out.

Hugs to all those who were fooled by the book and its bad advice. And thank you tulip for blogging about this subject.

Gaza

2004-07-28T10:00:00.000+03:00

I have told you my thoughts on Gaza and why I think making the area Judenrein won't help, and could very well lead to more deaths, both Palestinian Arab and Israeli. But I don't live there. Here are the voices of people who do; they are diverse. Please read them and let me know if it changed or confirmed your views.

via Israpundit

Also this piece from Arutz Sheva. I thank G-d everyday for these brave men and women. They risk their lives for so many. More lives were saved;that to me is something to cheer about.

Oh, and please meet a real Israeli solder; his name is Ran Leonard. This is the human being under the uniform. Please read his webjournal,and maybe say hi!

Help A Mom

2004-07-28T09:01:00.000+03:00

Of three: Ro is a mom of three children who is in desperate financial straits. Can anyone help her out? Even a dollar or two will go a long way. Just click on her paypal link. And if you don't want to give cash, give items; there are links to amazon and petco gift certificates. Perhaps your website needs a boost? She is seeking jobs designing websites. If you can give, if you can't, perhaps a link.

thank you.

Well a lot of you don't like my site

2004-07-28T08:53:00.000+03:00

At least according to bloghop. So after I've finished weeping into my coffee for the lack of absolute love out there; Clue me in! If you think my site sucks or you hate it, why? I'm just a stupid head who can't write? Anyone who can't spell or has such poor grammar should hang their head in shame and never show their face to the world? Content? You don't like my froggies (too bad on that one. I think they are cute.)

Give it to me straight. That doesn't mean I'll change for you; ultimately I'm writing for myself. But there are obviously aspects of my site that I need to give more thought, because my readers are also important to me. (otherwise, I'd take out a pen and paper and keep my thoughts to myself!!!)

Abortion II

2004-07-28T08:06:00.000+03:00

I was simply going to comment within the comment section on what everyone had to say but I had some many questions for everyone I thought it deserved a new post. I hope you will agree and we can all discuss this further.

I am hoping that by asking in depth questions, that by really examining the issue outside of terms of right and wrong, but of feelings and needs and how they can best be met, that one day abortion will end of its own.

First I want to thank everyone for their comments.

Secondly, I have more questions on your comments. I hope you don't mind.

Bonnie: I agree in terms of wishing that abortion didn't exist at all. My end goal is, and always has been to see that abortion becomes moot. I don't expect to see that in my lifetime or even necessarily feel it will occur in my children's lifetime. But hopefully some day. What do you think we could do to make that goal come true? What are the steps in your mind?

Linda; I agree with you regarding the dependency of the fetus, which is why I give more weight to the needs of the mother. But I am not sure that I agree with you in terms of simply letting it be the moms decision. I do feel some obligation to the unborn beings. Also, you wrote: I have said that I would do it differently if I had the choice again, but that is in hindsight. In your post you describe it as having seen where that went You also describe feeling regret almost immediately, and regretting with a vengeance later.

Was it simply having another child that made you rethink whether or not you could have emotionally survived if you had carried the pregnancy to term? Or did something else click in your mind? What would you say to a woman if she came to you in the same predicament? While it would have been harder to continue in school, do you feel it would have been (nearly)impossible? What would it require to make it less difficult?

Random Penseur; do you feel that the fetus has any rights? If so what are they? What do you feel as a man is your obligation towards abortion? What was it about the article that shook you (and your wife)?

Lauren; I always believe the physical saftey of the mom comes first and I am glad that abortion is there to help you in such extreme cases. I hope in the future we will have a way to extract the fetus without killing it and placing it in an artificial womb, or in a willing host-mother, (biological mom wouldn't lose her rights).Would either of those solutions work for you? If not, why not? I am also truly sorry that your questions weren't answered. That is the type of debate that is most important to me. If we want abortion to end then it is necessary to understand the reasons for the abortion and help end those reasons in the best way possible; a continued war will do no one any good.

Mythago; first of all my friend, WRITE ME!!! okay that was mean. But I'm still waiting.
Secondly Rachel Ann, I'm a little bothered by the your starting assumption that there isn't any consideration of the pros and cons, that women are not currently given any reason to consider whether and why they want an abortion. I know you are bothered. I do think that many abortion clinics provide, at least now, some counseling. I wonder if it really is enough. I know full well that Rachel's Vineyard and most similar groups are pro-life and often Catholic. Still they are full of women who regret their chioce. Is there anything else that you feel could be done in abortion clincs to prevent regrets later on in life?

Robin P: What do you think should be offered to women to help them continue their pregnancies? What kind of outside support is necessary? What would you personally offer to a friend or loved one to convince them to continue their pregnancy (if the women's health wasn't an issue)? What do you feel that we as a society should offer?
Also Robin you said If girls don't know how to prevent pregnancy then they shouldn't be having sex at all. That is the parent's responsiblity to make sure their kids know about sex. What responsibilty, if any, do you think schools bear in sex education? (and if your answer is other than none) When should it begin and how should it be taught?

Lex: first, I am very glad for the health of your child. That must have been a fearful time for you; I am glad everything worked out well. I do wonder how many other happy outcomes MAY have resulted if parents did what you did waited and gone through the pregnancy. I will ask you the same question as I asked Random Pensaur; what is your role as a man in terms of the abortion issue. (and don't apologize for it taking so long. Haloscan doesn't give people a lot of room to really say their piece!)

Pincushion: I agree with you. I believe the unborn has sanctity; I ask you the same thing that I asked Robin. personally and as a society as a whole, what should be offered to women to convince them to continue a preganancy that doesn't risk their health?

Ampersand; I agree with you 100% regarding ways to reduce abortion.Could you also fill us in a bit more on what the various countries with legal but low levels of abortion are doing that you feel we could implement here? And I ask you the same questions that I've asked the other men. What is your role vis-a-vis abortion?

I believe I covered everyone so far. I want to move away from anger and move into solutions. Thanking everyone so far and hoping you all will continue this discussion.

I Get an Award!

2004-07-28T06:06:00.000+03:00

A bunch of roses. A spa treatment. At least something. I think I deserve it, and I'm demanding recognition!

Yesterday, as I have said, I was fasting. For some reason I was hit particularly bad by the fast this year and for a good bit of the afternoon I was stretched out on the couch feeling somewhat dizzy and faint.

My sons, once we were passed midday and there was some relaxation of the rules (frivolity is frowned upon as the day is a day of mourning) tried to distract themselves from their hunger by playing a video game.

Along comes my wonderful, unstoppable, five year old, rushing over to the screen to watch the boys play.

And I know what is going to happen.
T will comment. And comment. And comment.
One comment after the other; who's that? Who are you being M? Why did you do that?

The boys see red. They gently ask their sister not to make comments. They politely ask their sister not to make comments. They firmly ask their sister not to make comments. They beg their sister not to make comments. They scream at her to shut up alread!

Still she makes comments.

Usually I'm not just hanging around but busy elsewhere. However, this time I was on the couch, and barely able to do even something as simple as read anyway. After the first grumblings of discord T runs to me and begs me to tell the boys to "let her talk".

"I'll tell you what." I squeak out, hoping to forestall the usual bad feelings and inevitable war. "Come tell me your comments. Whisper!"

"okay!" she is delighted.

And for the next 30 minutes:

Slap of little feet against the floor. "M is being Mario!" (stage whisper into my ear.) Punctuate the remark by smacking the foot rest of the couch several times. Slap of little feet against the floor back to the boys. 10 secs.
Slap of feet, "B is green Yoshi" smack the foot rest. Run back to boys.
Slap of feet. "M is dead!" smack the foot rest. Run back to the boys.
Over and over and over again.

And I managed not to scream. I didn't tear out my hair. I even managed to make vague, appreciative responses and smile through the whole ordeal; never uttering a single complaint.

I think I deserve something.
Maybe a "I'm surviving my five year old" t-shirt?

Abortion

2004-07-26T09:53:00.000+03:00

Very simple post and I need your imput.
I'm still reeling from a change of heart I've had regarding abortion. I still don't know what to do.
I do not want dead mothers, or mothers whose health is so impaired because of a pregancy that they suffer severe damage to their body or mind; I'n talking about brain damage, loss of the use of their limbs, loss of a sense--sight, hearing. In other words, a radical change. All pregancies can end in a problem for the mother, or child, especially if medical intervention is required for a birth. Caesareans are just not as safe as regular births and all the problems inherent with surgery are there in surgical births as well.

But: I can also no longer stand the idea that unborn are tossed aside with so little regard. This is no longer about Amy Richards. It is about the idea that a humnan being to be is, by some, given little or no weight.

I feel the balance should favor the mother; but that it is also important to consider the voice, the needs of a child who is conceived who most likely would want to be born.

How can we make certain a woman will not have to go through her pregnancy knowing it will most likely terminate with her death or extreme health issues, and yet at the same time, encourage and help women to have their children, without fear of loss of livelihood, fears of poverty, fears that their life will be over on an emotional level?

Please, please give me your ideas!
Also, if you have an experience you wish to share regarding abortion, please do. If you had an abortion and regret the choice, why? What would have allowed you to choose not to abort? What was missing? Tell me if you didn't regret, and again, is there anything that could have been offered to you at the time that would have changed your mind about going through the abortion? What did you gain by having the abortion? If you did not choose to abort and regret that, tell me also. Do it annonymously if you wish.

Hey People!

2004-07-26T09:37:00.000+03:00

Talk to me!!! I want to hear what you have to say! What did you think of the human chain event is Israel? Dumb idea? Wise move? What human chain? Who cares? I don't think Jews should be in Gaza? I don't think Palestinian Arabs or any other country has the right to tell Jews where to live? The concept Juderein, even when uttered by an Israeli politician, scares the living *(^% out of me?

Speak up! I don't bite! And I don't fall down into a sobbing heap on the floor if someone disagrees with me. My dh and I don't even agree on a lot of issues and we are both still alive to fight about things.

So come on! Don't be shy! Don't hold back!

Talk to me!

Tisha B'av

2004-07-26T07:53:00.000+03:00

Tisha B'av begins tonight at sundown and continues until tomorrow night. It is a day of intense mourning for the loss of the Temple and the destruction of Jeruaselem. We fast, we pray, we foreswear, for one day, creature comforts, with the intent on becoming better people,

Yesterday I stood with 130,000 Jews in unity in Israel, and I don't know how many people in other countries.

With G-d's will the harshness of the day will be overturned, we will see the Temple rebuilt and the day will go from one of mourning to celebration.

Unfortunately there is also this to report

2004-07-25T23:00:00.000+03:00

I can't bear it right now. I went back to Arutz 7 main page and saw the article about another rocket attack. Here's the report. No comment necessary, I hope.

The Human Chain

2004-07-25T22:34:00.000+03:00

Here's the story.

And it really was that great. The buses, about 8 from our Yishu alone,left from our Yishuv at about 4:15; it took us over two hours to reach our destination; normally a 40 minute ride. No place to buy food, no bathrooms, streets and fields and people. Deeply committed people from all walks of life, of all ages. I saw a man on crutches, and many pregnant women and women with young babies. Men in black hats and suits, women in pants with uncovered hair.

There was such a wonderful feeling of Achavat Yisroel, love of Israel. We waved at helicopters and cars honking the horns in support, trying to find a spot to join us.A note was passed from the begining of the chain to the kotel, hand to hand. At 7 we held hands, and raised them aloft, singing Ha Tikvah, the Israeli national anthem, and Ani Mamin; I believe. At 7:30 we had to begin boarding our bus to go home. I think most of us felt a sense of disappointment that it was over so soon; we were all one; how could we break apart?

I have family in Gush Katif; by a blood deeper than family names. They are fellow Jews and we are one. They live on land they purchased,in houses that they love.

It was an honor and a privelege to be there, standing up for their right to live free and without fear.

I know there were chains in other places. If you took part in a chain, please let me know how it went.

As for me, I'm tired, and thirsty and hungry; but also happy and hopeful.

Asked and Answered

2004-07-25T11:01:00.000+03:00

Linda of Auterific asked "If there is a topic to which you would be interested to hear my response, give a shout out in the comments."

And I asked her about her world travels (see comments for all the questions)
She answered here.

Any other world travelers out there that would like to tell me about your adventures? What you gained?

Natural Music

2004-07-25T10:21:00.000+03:00

Ever notice how little children are always full of song? My five year old doesn't simply go to the sink to wash her hands she sings "I'm going to wash my hands wi~ iith so~oap!" or "E is a meany head and I don't like her", or "I get an extra treat 'cause I was so~ oo good!" Sometimes it's like having an all music radio station playing in the background.

Not everything is a song, I think.

But to most five year old most of the their life is; everything is so permeated with meaning that what else to do but memorialize it with music?

Sometime along our journey to adulthood we lose that sense of the importance of everyday things; we have a vague notion that they are important, but we dismiss their value in favor of bigger issues, headline-grabbing topics. But what is as soothing as warm soapy water? So hurtful as a minor cruelty of a loved one? As special as an unexpected bit of chocolate?

Don't these things deserve a bit of music?

Just to let you know

2004-07-25T09:51:00.000+03:00

I will be here, today, G-d willing.
Pray there are no incidents.
(Pray there are bathrooms.)

I will of course post on the events when I get home and have a breather. If you take part in any of the other chains going on in other parts of the world, or on the chain with me, I would love to hear your comments on the event. How did you feel? What reception did you receive from non-participants? How large was your crowd? How friendly was the press/police etc?

To The Bat Cave

2004-07-25T07:18:00.000+03:00

Bad Example (a misnomer if ever I heard one) opines on the need for a private sanctuary to get away from the world and just be with oneself. He wonders if it is just a guy thing.

Nope, it isn't. And I think many women would agree; we all need that special place for ourselves. A corner of the world, and a time where we can just prepare or recoup from the day. I have lots of little caves in the world. I generally rise between 4:30 and 6:00 am and turn on the computer. There, with coffee at my side, I click through the blog world and read my emails. By the time my family has risen (read I've given my wake-up calls) I have had about an hour of time to myself.

No answering anyone else's needs or wants. It is selfish time. It is me time. I sometimes post then or at least get an idea of what I will post.

Another cave is a small waiting area, across the street from the clinic. It has two benches, a pergola, bushes and flowers. On hot days the place is marvelously cool; there I sit, from about 4:30 till a few minute to 5:00, reading letters or writing letters before I go to my job caring for the autistic girl.

The bathroom is a cave for many women, and many women also do what I do; wake before everyone else.

I need my mind space. If we had the money I would have an "office" filled with just me stuff; my spinning supplies, my books, a computer of my own if I can dream a bit here. It would be decorated for me; my colors, my designs, my scents. Someplace I could retreat for even five minutes when the world began to suffocate. Someplace just to be me; not a mom, not a wife, not a sister or daughter. Just me.

Corrected the permalink. One day I'll do this without blundering!!!

Silencing the Opposition

2004-07-25T05:59:00.000+03:00

As has been reported on various blogs, a fifteen year old boy was murdered by Palestinaian terrorist, when he tried to stop the men from
using his home as a launching place for a Kassam rocket. It was a kassam rocket that killed young Afik and Mordechai Yosef of Sedrot.(note they two murder vicitims were not related.) A kassam rocket is what narrowly missed killing a mother and her children when the rocket crashed through the roof of their http://www.arutzsheva.com/news.php3?id=66056.

The family attacked by these terrorist were not pro Israel. She just wanted to have a home, not a military base.

Now imagine if she were actually calling for peace with Israel?

How can there be peace when the voices of Palestinian Arabs who protest the terrorist
are silenced? When reporters receive death threats for telling the truth?

A partner for peace must actually want peace; with murders and thugs in charge of the
Palestinian Arab territories how much hope is there for that?

More Baddies Bite the Dust

2004-07-23T13:36:00.000+03:00

And good riddance. If we had more of this we'd have less of this.

I am not a big violence fan. I don't love death. I hate guns. You would never find me walking around the forest with a gun in hand. I prefer peace, quiet, and gentility. But sometimes you have to kill to prevent murder. And there is a difference.

By the way it was the Hatuel family's death that started me in the blogging world. Long story and for another time; but the short of it is, I got tired of people blaming Jews for lack of peace in the Middle East. Firing point blank at a 2 year old, staring that child in the eyes and blowing her away, is not a political statement, is not a bid for freedom. It is sick, cold blooded, and forgiveable murder. And I want all those who have planned, helped and implemented the murder of innocent people like that baby, hunted down. They have lost their right to life.

Lessons

2004-07-23T06:22:00.000+03:00

In the spirit of Dean and Rosemary and The Tweezer's Edge.

Classes given by G-d to children before they are born;

1. Motion detection.
How to detect, despite being sound asleep, that your parents are about to 1)sit down 2) lay you down in the crib.
2. Sleep deprivation.
Your parents don't really want to sleep. How to wake and cry just as they are about to drift off into dreamland.
Extra credit: How to prevent your parents from reading a good book, watching a movie from begining to end, and having the nerve to depose you from your one and only status.
3. Embarassment
Various techniques will be discussed. The stage whisper; how to act as if you don't know everyone can actually hear you. When is the best time and place for a tantrum. Which questions are best asked loudly, in a quiet, public place. How and when to repeat comments your parents have made about their bosses, friends and relatives.
4. Food preferences.
Why it is best to develop a food preference for a product that is difficult to find and nobody else likes, then suddenly dislike it when mom or dad has made purchased four of that product. Extra credit if even the dog turns up his nose at it.
5. Last Minutitis
It is always best to alert your parents to a school/camp need at the very last second possible. Similarly, never leave both your shoes in the same place. Always be certain to misplace the book you need that day. And be certain that the clothes you pick out are 1)missing a button or have a broken zipper 2)have a big ketchup stain on the back. No you don't know how it got there. 3) are inappropriate for the season or the occasion. Remmeber to throw a fit when your parents suggest other clothing.
6. Keep 'em Home
What type of questions to nonchalantly ask your parents as they are headed out the door, alone, for the first time in 6 months.

any other's?

Shabbat Shalom, I'm off to cook, then off to work.

It's the dood, dude!

2004-07-22T08:00:00.000+03:00

Here in Israel, at least in our neck of the woods, and I think in most places, we have a water tank heated mainly by the sun. This works pretty well, as long as there is sun, which is a given during the summer (nary a cloud).

But of course if you do a lot of laundry and dishes and heavy cleaning and everyone decides to shower within a few hours of each other, or it is winter and it has been raining steadily all day, well the hot water runs out.

And because most people don't relish cold water bathing, we have something called a dood; a hot water heater. I'm not sure that is what it is really called, but that is what everyone calls it, so...

The dood heats up the water.It can take 1/2 hr or more, but at least you don't end up bathing in ice. You have to stagger showers then so there is about 1/2hr in between, but that isn't such a big deal.

Unfortunately our dood doesn't work. Or, more aptly; IT KEEPS ON NOT WORKING! Turn dood on and all the electricity goes out! No hot water. No microwave. NO COMPUTER!!!!
And so we keep calling up the people responsible for fixing it, and they keep coming down and fixing it, and then it works for about a month and then; the DOOD BLEW A FUSE! And so does Rachel Ann.

So we call the people up to repair the dood, and they come and make noises with their hammers, and turn on the dood and everything blows and then they say it is the electricity. And then we call the people up to fix the electricity and they come and make noises with their hammers, and turn on the dood and everything blows and then they say it is the the dood. Are you sensing a pattern here?

This has been going on for the whole year we have been here. Every two months or so the dood doesn't.

I am starting to think I'll be 90 when they finally fix it and then next day they'll come in and replace it with the newest gadget, which will cost me my first born's child's first born's child's child. The newly installed dood, with all the latest gadgets will work for about three days. Tops.

Of course, I'm much better off than poor Zero Boss...

Do you ever wake up

2004-07-22T07:57:00.000+03:00

From a dream, and you are all shakey as if the dream were a nightmare, but when you try and remember the dream the bits and pieces you remember aren't scary at all?

What's with that?

Aaaarrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh

2004-07-21T22:14:00.000+03:00

Oh blogspot? Why is half my blog roll on the bottom of the page? It wasn't like that before? And why can't I use spell check?

(sigh)

Thank G-d!!!!

2004-07-21T21:15:00.000+03:00

It was a miracle. A rocket crashed through the roof of a home in the Negev and landed on a bed where a mother slept with her baby in her arms, a child beside her, and another child in second bed in the same room. Aside from some minor injuries, and shock, no one was harmed.

Unfortunately, yesterday, two soilders died from a sniper attack. One was to have been married two weeks from now. I'm tired of grooms and brides having to bury their intendeds.

And as I said in a prior post I couldn't have guessed this outcome.

Let's see. A mother and her children are almost killed. Two soilders are murdered by snipers, but the fence, which basically causes nothing but some inconvience, has to come down.

Blogging Hits Yesha

2004-07-21T05:31:00.000+03:00

The Jews of Yesha (Judea, Samaria, and Gaza) are telling it like it is. Not satisfied to be swept away like yesterday's trash, they are coming to the world direct through blogging. (Nope, I'm not there. My community is listed, but I'm not there)

In their welcome section the community of bloggers describes the blog as

The Yesha Speaks Out (YSO) community blog is a cooperative initiative of dozens of people to build bridges of understanding between us, the residents of Jewish communities throughout Yesha (Judea, Samaria, Gaza and the Jordan Valley), and concerned individuals throughout the world. Read our “Objectives” for more detail.
by The YSO Team

If you really want to know what life is like on a settlement, don't use the main-stream news. Check these people out. They are living the life, and they know it isn't what is shown on the local news.

Chiracs Having a Temper Tantrum

2004-07-21T05:18:00.000+03:00

And Auterrific tells you why.

Me: Did I miss an invitation to Sharon from Chirac in the first place?

I'm trying to figure out why Chirac cares that Jews are leaving his country in droves. Is he afraid that when they have all gone that the militants will start attack everyone not a fundamentalist Muslim like they are?

Hmmm.

Amy Richards/Amy Richards

2004-07-20T09:52:00.000+03:00

A lot of bloggers have been associating the Amy Richards of the NYT article with this Amy Richards of the feminist.com site, and also soap box.

So I have my doubts based on a couple of things. In the repro section she talks about herself as being 29; depending on when that article was written, it would be cutting it pretty close to having her then be 34 in 2004 or even 2003, since we don't know really when the event took place, as the article was written after the child was born. Also, she speaks about having an abortion when she was 18, but makes no mention of that fact in the article, something that I think would have been relevant (especially as she mentions that she was afraid of becoming pregnant at 16). So I wrote a letter to the ask.amy woman, and hopefully she will respond. I will reprint the letter or at least the gist of it here, if and when I get a response.

I do find the T-shirt "I had an abortion" feartured on the front page of the Soap box site, rather repulsive. It isn't anything to take pride in.
(and if anyone could drive me into pro-life court, at least to a limited extent, as I could never require a woman to undermine her health or life, or give birth to a child due to rape or incest, it would be amy richards of the NYT ill-fame.)

UPDATE:
I see that Allah has posted something from Amy friend about her being the same person, so I am wrong, they are the same being. I guess I was hoping against hope that it was a hoax, that we were all wrong. How I wish it were so.

I am still waiting to see if she responds to me and what she says, but I am seriously begin to question my "ending abortion through science and social reform" stand, and that maybe, maybe, if things went back to the way they were, if there were some standards about when one could have an abortion, such callousness would not exist. If women couldn't order up abortions the way they order a pie, if parents and b.f. couldn't just force a woman via emotional blackmail into having an aboriton, if it only existed for those who were in need, severe health risk or risk to life, limb, sight, psychological state, or due to rape/incest. If, if if...

I don't know. I only know I can't let this go.

What have we bred in this world?

Take That!

2004-07-20T08:00:00.000+03:00

Caesar, my Basset Hound is not the swiftest dogs on the block. An old man now, he is, and always has been mild, gentle, and a bit of a slow. There isn't anyone this dog doesn't love; or any being. Birds flock around him without worry, and though he chases the cats, it isn't to hunt them down but to ask them to play.

Down the block from us is a large, loud, aggressive German Shepherd; he is a guard dog through and through. This dog could intimidate a well armed man. Normally this dog is kept behind a big locked gate, with the appropriate warning sign attached, in case anyone couldn't tell from his growl that trouble would come from entering the premisies. (I do wonder how visitors get in.) Whenever caesar and I pass by on our walks,this behemoth charges the gate and starts his ranting. My poor deluded dog thinks he is being greeted; he wags his tail in an ever so cheerful manner and sometimes trys to go up to the gate to say hello!

Last night, as we were walking the German Shepherd rushed towards us from nowhere; I don't know how he got out. But there he was, towering above Caesar who didn't have the wit to be afraid. He charged, and menaced and Caesaar kept wagging his tail and trying to sniff him. I was a bit afraid, yelled at Caesar to come, the other dog to leave, and tried to grab Caesar, and chase the other dog away. Coward that the other dog was, it only took a few shouts and he would back up. Still, he was a big dog, and I was a bit nervous about him coming close to me, or my getting between them. I really didn't relish having my armed chewed off. I succeeded in getting Caesar inside, then came back out to see if the dog was still there, but by then the owners had locked him up again. Thanks people. Couldn't you keep more on top of things in the first place?

Anyway, today as we were walking Caesar stopped by the Germans Shepherds house,completely ignoring the barks and, as the poor Shepherd battered the gate, nonchalantly peed up the front curb.

Hehehehhe. That will teach him!

Maybe Caesar is smarter than I give him credit for.

Help Solve a Murder

2004-07-20T06:22:00.000+03:00

Burke O'Brien was brutally murdered and his family wants your help in solving this case. The family has also established a scholarship in his name to aid young people in participating in a wildnerness project.

The case is being profiled today, at 10pm EST on ABC's documentary "NYPD 24/7".

via ASV.

If anyone who watches the program would report back to me about it, I'd appreciate it.

Sweet words

2004-07-19T22:13:00.000+03:00

To wash the bitter away.

I've come back, after ranting about my sucky life to a friend on the phone (poor woman called to see what I had called about which was about a money matter and turned into a full scale dump my sorrows call), writing off a penpal letter, having a fourth or fourteenth cup of coffee, I was still feeling down so I went to visit my friend A Scratched Pearl. What a writer. She pulls me into these worlds of hers, and I can forget about the world outside for awhile.

It did make me feel better; maybe if my rant has made you feel bitter this can be your cure too.

KIds are the FUTURE

2004-07-19T19:44:00.000+03:00

Blast it, Why do we keep throwing them away. This whole thing with Amy Richardson person, and then today, I read this on fourth rail-- all about Arab-Palestinians and there terror camps for children. (and a good comparison with what the Nazi's did, some of the stuff I didn't know)

I know, it is three days old and I"ve blogged about this. But the connections are there. That and how babies are disposed of because they are the wrong sex, and women are killed because they are suspected of sex, or because they don't pay a high enough dowry or whatever, (spiced sass covers this a lot). and Sudan and and and....there is so much horror in this world.

Why are we doing this too our world? How long before the earth vomits us out????

sorry. Ranting is stupid I know but sometimes it just hits.

What is the Value of Life?

2004-07-19T08:26:00.000+03:00

As I have stated in another post, I am reluctantly pro-choice. I do not wish to see laws curb abortion; what I want is to gather together with like minded people and make abortion moot via science and social reform. (see here for an earlier post of mine.)

Recent discussions on abortion over the blogsphere have centered on this pathetic excuse for a human being.

(for more discussions go here, and here, and here.)

It horrifies me. I do not understand the mindset of a human being who tosses a child away as if it were no more than an ingrown toenail. Bothering me, out with it! Repugnant.

Yet that kind of thinking exists all over the world. It is the same type of thinking, as one commentator on another blog, that allows Palestinian-Arabs to raise up their children to become bombs, that causes women in Southern India (very horrific, please skip if you are very sensitive) to pour hot soup down their daughters throats and bury them beneath dung.

This total disregard for the value of a human being, these lives that could bring so much wonder into the world---I simply am at a loss to understand how callous the world is.

Two little children will not be, not because their mother's pyschical or psychological health was endangered, not because she could barely scrape together enough money to buy bread, but because she just didn't want to "....start shopping only at Costco and buying big jars of mayonnaise." ie, she just didn't want to.

What's That When It's At Home?

2004-07-18T15:19:00.001+03:00

SO I'm reading this book.
Yeah, I know you are surprised; my grammar sucks and my spelling is atrocious. I'd embarrass myself more if it weren't for spell check, but never mind.

The book is called DEAD RIGHT, by Peter Robinson, a British mystery. Quite good, actually. Anyway, twice I've come across this interesting phrase:

What's That When It's At Home?

and it, quite frankly, has me flumoxed.

What does it mean? Anyone know? The origin? etc. etc. It is given as an answer to a question and it doesn't result in an answer or reply. At least that what it seems like to me. I think it is a denial of knowledge or understanding., similar to Don't ask me!

Thanks in advance to those who speak British English.

Another Curious Question

2004-07-18T08:28:00.000+03:00

In terms of blogging, what is more important to you as a blogger regarding viewers?

1. stats; how many people view your site?

2. how many are loyal viewers?

3. number of comments?

4. number of links?

Questions the result of Space Monkey and Bad Example's posts and just because I've been thinking about it.

Me; I like comments both from loyal readers and new faces.
I also have a great desire to become a flapping bird, because I've
always wanted to fly without use of a plane. And I like that sound.
Flappy Bird...

I've also always wanted to be kidnapped by aliens who weren't interestd
in putting me in a zoo or experimenting on me, but just thought I'd be
an interesting addition to their society; travel the universe, save
various important people and societies. Would help if they look great
too. Hey, I have dreams, I didn't say it they were realistic
dreams.

Now hope blogspot actually publishes what I wrote. I think.

BlogMaze

2004-07-18T00:51:00.000+03:00

I saw this on memeblog and since I love to do it anyway (besides, I couldn't think of anything else to do!)

1. It's All About De; I loved her personality, her humor, and her warmth. I hope she begins blogging more.

2. The Flying Space Monkey Chronicles;
Love the blog name, loved his humor, and he loves Stargate
Atlantis! I love Stargate; I will probably love Stargate Atlantis; that
is, if it gets on the internet and my ds can download it. Can't watch
it from here!

3. Sweet Surprise; the title says it all. This is one nice place to be. Friendly and fun and cute graphics.

4. Off on a Tangerine
she's an internet junkie just like I am! Now I have to go take
the quiz!!! Okay, maybe tomorrow. It is 1:30 and I do have to get
to bed so I can wake up again.

Well the UN has called an emergency meeting

2004-07-16T18:41:00.000+03:00

About the security fence. I'm (yawn) waiting with (yawn) bated breath. I can't imagine (condemn Israel) what they will say.

But what really interested me was this quote;

A Palestinian draft resolution would ask the General Assembly to reaffirm "the illegality of any territorial acquisition resulting from the threat or use of force" and would demand that Israel "comply with its legal obligations as determined in the advisory opinion." From Haaretz; bold mine.

Um, isn't that what the Arab-Palestinians are trying to do? Homicide bombings, bus and store bombings, shooting babies point blank, bombing kindergarteners. Threat of force or use of force. Heck, isn't that way the Arab nations have tried to do in every war agianst Israel???

Oh right. Israel.
Never mind.
(grim face.)

Evidence that you are overworked/lacking sleep

2004-07-16T12:47:00.000+03:00

The micorowave beeps and you plead with it to give you some more time.
You are lying in bed. You look outside. It is dark. You can't make up your mind whether you are going to bed or getting up.
You are on your fourth cup of coffee. It is not yet noon.
People start asking you; "what happened to your eyes?"
You don't remember five. You know there is a five you just don't remember it.

Things I Hate

2004-07-16T07:27:00.000+03:00

In no particular order.

1. Little plastic toys found in children's candy, that require Lilliputian hands to put them together, fall apart from the breeze of a butterfly's wing, and end up crunching under your feet when you head off to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
2. Putting laundry away. Which is why we have CLEAN LAUNDRY MOUNTAIN in our bedroom. Bring your own ropes. And a three day's supply of food and water.
3. Dog hair/cat hair. But I love my dog and I want a cat, so I'm just a glutton for punishment.
4. Toys/puzzles missing pieces. I go bananas. I freak. I become a hunt monster. I MUST FIND THAT PIECE. My day is ruined if I can't. I'm nuts, don't rub it in.
5. Coming home from the store realizing I bought everything but the one thing I needed to buy.

We've Been Replaced

2004-07-16T06:01:00.000+03:00

1 year ago and 1 week ago I and my family left our house in NJ and headed for the airport. We were excited, happy, clean and refreshed and at least I was bouncing off the walls. We were headed to Israel; a place I had dreamed I would call home for almost all my life. Almost 24 hrs later, dirt, exhausted, but still excited and happy, we walked up to our new front door, inserted the key, and were home.

There was so much to learn; who everyone was, where everyone and everything was. What the woman who helped bring us to this Yishuv meant by "2 unfinished floors" (no stairs, nothiing but the outer walls, and no floor, just rubble.)

I couldn't believe how far the makolet, grocery store was from us. It seemed miles away! We have to walk about those stairs each day? That hill? Where was the bakery everyone was talking about? The pizza shop? I couldn't even converse with a five year old! HOW WERE WE GOING TO MAKE IT????

But we were home. People showed up at the door with gifts and words of welcome. Two days later I couldn't have told you who they were. But we were home.

In every fiber of my being I felt it; home. Rooted. In the right place at the right time.

I fit.

And I never want to leave here. I want to buy this house, fix it up, and someday cede it to my children or grandchildren. I want to watch it grow and talk about the old days, when it was still relatively young (20 years old). I want to grumble about politics, vote on the council. Grow old here.

This is my place. And I have never been so happy in my life.

Yesterday I met one of the new faces in town. She has 6 children, two of them my daughters age.

She looks tired, confused, and overwhelmed. And incredibly happy. She probably won't remember my name tomorrow, despite our having sat at a bench and talked for 1/2 hr while watching the kids play.

But she is home. I can see it in her face. The satisfaction and the hope, overwhelmed and in utter disbelief that she and her family made it.

I've been replaced; I'm old news. I'm the greeter now.

Welcome home everyone, welcome home.

(and I couldn't leave you without a link, could I?)

She's out of surgery

2004-07-16T00:47:00.000+03:00

The news is good so far; while the lab work isn't complete yet, from the looks of it, the mass was benign and they were able to remove 99.9% of it.

She'll be in the hospital for about 2 more days while recovering.

Phew!
My mother told me to go to sleep now... :-).

Asking for Prayers again

2004-07-15T06:00:00.000+03:00

This time for my sister, who is having a mass removed from her esophagus, As with my mother, they haven't been able to determine whether the mass is cancerous or not; but she is a singer, and the lump is probably related to strain from singing. I am also praying that the removal itself doesn't damage her vocal chords; singing is her life. She has such a beautiful voice that even when she justs speaks it sounds musical. Anyway, that is where my mind is today.

I will write and update when I can, which will most likely be tonight or tomorrow.

Thanks to everyone in advance.

UPDATE:
She is in surgery now (the price I pay for being in such a different time zone. She is in CA.) I told my mom she can call until 2am my time, which is 5pm EST.

Re my mom; she has what is called a non-aggressive lymphoma, it hasn't spread (that's been confirmed), and she'll need a bit of chemo, that's all.

further update later.

Wandering about before I head for my second job of the day

2004-07-14T15:55:00.000+03:00

And I found some nice oasis in the blogsphere universe:
Jen interviews THE RED TiGRESS. What she said about Jewish women.

Jim writes about his memories of STRAWBERRY ISLAND.
This was from two days ago, and I should have said something then, but now he poses a geography question which I won't answer because I am too smart and know all the answers and it would be unfair.(translation: I'd have to cheat and look up all the answers because I know as much about geography as I know about Swedish, and believe me that isn't much)

From Spinning; just read. How beautiful. Few words, much said.

And Mindy is having much too much fun and I wish I was there. AND SHE LOOkS GREAT!!! Mr. Tie dye.

Now I got to go, and try and trackback and hope it works because my job is calling me.

I'm being e-mailed by royalty now!

2004-07-14T11:28:00.000+03:00

Just look at this! Wow! I mean who'd thunk it?
You all have to look at me with a new found sense of wonder and awe.

(If I knew how to catagorize this would go under trash; but in case the Princess (and goodness knows how many others) hasn't contacted you yet, have a laugh.)

The Palace of King of Ogoni Kingdom, Ogoni Oil producing community,
Rivers State Nigeria.

Dear Sir, I am Princess Ifeoma Abonime , daughter of
HRH King Solomon Abonime,the king of Ogoni Kingdom. I am 25 years old and studying Mass Communication.

My father was the king of Ogoni Kingdom the highest oil producing area
in Nigeria. He was in charge of reviving royalties from the multi-national oil companies and government on behalf of the oil
producing communities in Nigeria.

After the hanging of the Ogoni Nine(9) including Ken Saro Wiwa by the
late dictator General Sani Abacha, my father battled with stroke and finally died in NOVEMBER 27th LAST year.

But before his death, he called me and told me he has One Hundred and
Five Million United States Dollars Only (USD105,000,000.00) cash in his
possession, specially deposited here in an Ocean Investment Trust
Company Nigeria.

He advised me not to tell anybody except my mother whom he loved and being the last of the (8) eight wives that he married. My mother did not
bear any male child for him.

Which implies that all my father's properties, companies e.t.c., we
have no share in them because my mother has no male child
according to African Tradition. My father therefore secretly gave me all
the relevant documents of the said money, and told me that I should use this money with my mother and my younger sisters because he knows that
tradtionally, if he dies we cannnot get anything, as inheritance.

He importantly advised me that I should seek foreign assistannce and
that I should not invest this money here in Nigeria because of his other wives and male children who happen to be my elders. I am soliciting for your immediate assistance to get a Bungalow for us, where I will live
with my mother and two younger sisters and further advise me where and
how I will invest the balance money overseas, possibly on products of your company and other profitable ventures.

I believe that by the special grace of God, you will help us move this
money out of this country to your country where we can invest this money judiciously with you.

You are entitled to a reasonable part of this money
based on our agreement, and God will bless you as you help us. PLease reply through my e-mail
Looking forward to hear from you as soon as possible.

Best regards.

Princess Ifeoma.

Anyone wanting to lose their shirt, just ask. I'll send you the "princess's e-mail addy."

Making Terroist Pay

2004-07-14T11:11:00.000+03:00

Just read this on Arutz Sheva:

A United States Federal Court in Rhode Island has handed down a $116 million verdict against the Palestine Liberation Organization and the Palestinian Authority, in favor of the parents and children of Yaron Ungar and his wife, Efrat.

read more here.

Of course the PA and PLO will appeal. Of course it will take a number of years for justice to be satisfied. But maybe if instead of reaping sympathy "for their plight" terroist actually had to pay for their crimes, maybe they would put down their weapons of war, and peace could at least have a chance.

Chief Wiggles is asking for help

2004-07-14T07:24:00.000+03:00

Basically, this is a matter of possible theft of an organization that ships toys to children in Iraq: deposit funds to guarantee the return of shipping containers haven't been forwarded to the proper parties;the shippers have kept the money, delaying or preventing shipment of two containes. Please read and if you can, offer your help.

Looks Like my Daughter

2004-07-14T07:03:00.000+03:00

Will be staying home from camp today. I know, sounds silly over a sunburn; but she is in a lot of pain, and I think it might be better if she had little or nothing to do with the sun today. Even if she does't go out during free time she still has to walk up there and back, and back would be during the hottest part of the day. So I was actually thinking she should stay home, even before she asked (at 5:30 this morning. She didn't wake me, I was downstairs already awake, and she was asleep on the couch.)

Meanwhile, my five is in a joyous mood, twirling about happily, showing off the dress she just inherited from her sister. Sister is a little glum on having been dispossessed, but the dress was short on her. It is on the longish side for my five, but that means it will have a few years wear.

And yes, my 10 is that small, that a dress of hers could fit her 5 year old sister.

All my children are small, but E is the smallest of the bunch, relatively. When she was younger she was off the charts totally; she kept her own curve, following the norm, but way below it.

One reason I'm worried about her recent signs of approaching puberty is that I want her to be at least my height (5'1"). Currently she is about the size of the average 8 year old--both the smallest and the oldest of her class. I know what that is like as that was my life history, and I'm a bit afraid she won't clear 5'. I don't know why that is so important to me but it is; and I know, there really isn't a thing I could do about it short of growth hormones, which I wouldn't use unless the situation were drastic.

Not a pressing issue in the world picture I know, but important to me.

Mom Guilt

2004-07-13T23:06:00.000+03:00

I was in the kitchen, making lunch for tomorrow and doiong the dishes when I heard this little voice call "Ima?" I turned off the water thinking my five year old had woken up and needed me. But I was wrong; emerging from the salon was my 10 year old, all wrapped up in a sheet.

Her back and shoulders hurt.

I had her lie down on the couch and I covered her back, shoulders and arms with aloe vera with aloe vera and a cool wet towel.

If you are guessing sunburn - you are right.

Yesterday, her camp went swimming. We put sunscreen on her before she left for camp of course, but then she was wearing clothes. She went with the bottle of sunscreen, but I guess couldn't or didn't get her back, shoulders and upper arms.

The sun just beat on her.

The poor girl is so red! I put aloe vera and had her take a cool bath yesterday. So far, no peeling; but all I keep thinking is SUNBURN=CANCER, SUNBURN=CANCER.

And she is in such pain too.

I know there really isn't much else I could have done. But still I feel guilt, and that SUNBURN=CANCER just keeps going round in my head.

I'm not looking this up on the internet. I am praying that this only applies to sunburn which peels, and she isn't peeling.

Shoot. And she so loves to swim.

Who's the blogger

2004-07-13T19:07:00.000+03:00

Most unlike you, who differs from you the most in your outlook on life, yet whom you love to read, would love to meet, would enjoy sharing a cup of coffee with. would love to argue with but feel you could still remain friends afterward?

What is it about them that pulls you to their site?

I'm going to clean my bathroom now

2004-07-13T10:27:00.000+03:00

I'm just blogging this in the hopes that someone will dash in here and give me ten reasons I shouldn't....

I'm waiting.
I'm waiting.
I'm waiting.

Oh dang. Guess I'll have to clean.

Spam Jam

2004-07-13T09:28:00.000+03:00

Okay,

Spam is not fun. It is incredibly annoying, whether you get it in your email or get it in your blog (luckily I haven't been struck in the blog yet.) I don't know what should be done with spammers but it should be cruel and unusual enough to make them stop.

But sometimes spam is incredibly funny. I am currently getting the South African Banks one; open bank account, long for millions, lose your shirt one. That just make me roll my eyes and wonder who actually follows through on this.

But the one that really made me fall off the chair laughing was the one for

INCREASE YOUR JOHNSON!!!!
I've looked. No Johnson there. Pretty damned sure there never was, never will be. Evidence? My five kids. Need I say more?

But the desire to help me increase the non-existent part of me kept coming into my box despite my bouncing and blocking. New names kept popping up and new versions, some more explicit then the Johnson one, but everyone intent on helping me do better with the ladies by becoming longer and I am supposing longer lasting.

Anyway, what is your fave. spam to damn?
What gave you the most giggles?

BABY CHEDDAR PLEASE

2004-07-13T08:01:00.000+03:00

Cheddar cheese me.aka as quiz fun.

this week:
1. What is your earliest memory (presumably as a baby but maybe not)? Sitting on the porch, riding a tricycle, sometimes prior to the age of four as this was the first house we lived in.

2. What scares or scared you most about having kids? Keep in mind I was PPD at the time; I would be taking a shower. I would fall in the shower. I would bash my head against something knocking myself out. I would land against the drain hole and block it. The tub would fill. I would drown. My baby would creep into the bathroom looking for me. She would peer over the tub fall in and drown. I would thus become a murderess after death.

A generalized non-psychotic fear? That I would totally mess my kids up for life.

3. How did your life change or how do you think your life will change when you have children? Recognized my own mortality and the frailty of life. Realized the sweetness of giving of love to another who couldn't yet give it back.

4. What is your favorite thing about babies? The scent of a nursing child; I use to lie with the child in my arms, my nose close to them, just so I could drink the scent in..

5. Is there anything sweeter than a sleeping baby?:-) (sigh) One more time G-d, just one more time.

via memeblog

Weird food combos

2004-07-13T01:15:00.000+03:00

My newest food craze; watermelon and cheese.
Last year, in the first month or so of coming to Israel, the man who runs the Makolet (store) took all the new olim (immigrants) to Eretz Bereshit; where Abraham supposedly lived. We were treated to singing and wine, and good food and I was introduced to the idea of watermelon and cheese.
I just wasn't daring enough to try it.

It has taken me a year to track down the right kind of cheese (not so difficult in the end; it just showed up last week on the store shelves with a picture of a watermelon on it.) Little squares of white cheese floating in water salty enough to float in.

I wouldn't say it is good, but it is addicting.

So anyone else have a weird "no one else would touch it" food combo they love?

Another Voice in Favor of the Fence

2004-07-12T15:51:00.000+03:00

And it might surprise you who.

Whether you are for or against the war in Iraq

2004-07-12T12:50:00.000+03:00

This is something no one should do.

Jason Gilson was defending people from a tyrant. There were mistakes made there, but we can't blame every soilder for what a few did. He went to Iraq to help a population have at least a chance at the freedoms of those who live in USA. He risked his life for the Iraqis. Whether you agree with this war or not he went to help.

Disagree with the war but don't abuse the man. Discuss the issues but don't hurl insults and curses at those with whom you disagree.

Sondra K is asking people to e-mail Jason Gilson and his mother Tamara, and let them know this is wrong, and that we care.

tip of the hat to Dean where I first read about this.

Ma'ayan Na'im

2004-07-12T08:46:00.000+03:00

The young woman who was killed in the bombing yesterday.

All reasons given for this attack are just lies. These people kill for the sake of killing.

This young, wonderful woman had so much to give to the world, and now that is lost to us.

via NOT A FISH

Say it with pictures

2004-07-12T08:12:00.000+03:00

When someone does it better than you:

Best pictoral opinion of the Hague ruling.

a man of few words who says a lot!

Did everyone have that older man in the neighborhood

2004-07-11T23:40:00.000+03:00

Perhaps it was an older woman; the one who'd watch from a window or a porch and scream at anyone who got within sight of his yard. You didn't have to touch his lawn, you could run right past it, skirt it by defying mom and going in the street, bounce your ball or keep it tight in hand. Didn't matter; he saw you he'd scream. And heaven forbid your ball did land on his precious sod!

It was inevitable. There was the scream.

Just like the scream we hear coming from the Hague Ruling on the fence.

Come on, did anyone expect something different?

So now the Prime Minister has called a speical meeting to discuss the decision and what the hell is there to discuss anyway?

I can tell you what our response should be;but I don't think I have to write out the words.

I'm tired of worrying what the world thinks because no matter what we do I know what the world will say. So why bother? Why care?

The security fence has reduced the number of bombings and deaths due to homicide killers.

Israeli security data released last month indicate that in northern Samaria areas where the fence has been completed, the rate of terrorist penetrations has been cut down to zero. IDF Central Command sources said that the barrier played a crucial role in the 75% decline in suicide attacks and attempts during the first half of this year, as compared with the corresponding period in 2003.

(link)

That old man screaming on the porch, we learned to ignore him as kids. He screamed no matter what we did. So why care?

(and if you would like to scream back, here's some emails addys)

ecu@un.org - United Nations
civis@europarl.eu.int
info@curia.eu.int - EU Court of Justice

Okay this quiz

2004-07-11T21:40:00.000+03:00

Because I'm in a bad mood so why not have some fun. Via Dragon Bear Cave, via Pam

You find yourself in the beta of some game where you can't kill anything. You get sprinkled with pixie dust, and get scared at the sheer goodwill.

Have fun!

I am so exhausted

2004-07-11T21:29:00.000+03:00

And out of sorts. I worked those 4.5 hours and I don't know if she is going to have me back next week, and if not I don't know if it is because she was disappoined with my work or only needed me one time or what.

My back still aches, my leg still aches, my house is an utter mess because by the time I come home I've no patience for it. I'm tired and cranky. My five wants to snuggle; I am unsnuggable right now. I'm really ready for a solo flight around the universe---catch me in 20 years. I just don't want to be near anyone.

I want a week along with no one to bug me, no one to do for, clean for, think about.

I want selfish time and I want it NOW!!!!

sorry..ranting away so I can get myself into a snuggle up mood.

And I still have tons of work to do.

cute kid alert

2004-07-11T19:25:00.000+03:00

ie, don't read if you think these stories are about as interesting as cottage cheese.

I have dinner in the oven. I have hungry children. Very hungry little children. Children who keep bothering me about how long the food will take. Finally one such little child, age five, runs up and asks me to check.
I look at my watch tell her; I know it isn't ready yet I can tell by my watch. "We still have about ten minutes left" (Kid translates this as almost forever)

Next thing I know she is fooling with the knob of the watch.

"Don't do that! You'll mess up the time!"

"But I want to make it go faster!!!"

How Long Do You Think It Should Take

2004-07-11T14:23:00.000+03:00

To clean

1. 4 bedrooms, including moving out two beds and cleaning under all four beds
2. Lifting three extra mattresses up on to the bed and putting them back down again after the floors are clean.
3. Picking up assorted items from the floor, tossing dirty clothes into the hamper, folding the other's and putting them on the bed.
4. Washing windows and three long mirrors.
5. Sweeping and washing the floors.
6. Cleaning three bathrooms; three toilets, three sinks, two shower stalls, including the floor of the stall and the doors, three mirrors, one tub and shower, and the doors to the shower. Said doors are full of hard water stains and washing the floor.
7. A large hall off the bedrooms (washing the floor, a small wall, the light fixture of dirty fingerprints)
8. A kitchen, including the counters, the cabinets, top and bottom, the scouring out the sinks, washing down the refrigerator, the outside of the stove and dishwasher.
9.A main room, including moving the couch out to sweep/wash behind it, moving dinning room chairs. Washing away what looked like ground in chocolate.
10. A main entrance way.

Those who clean just give me an idea ofhow long it would take.

Me, my back hurts, and my knee hurt; but i want to know if it took me a crazy long time to get it all done.

Feeling the Heat

2004-07-11T05:41:00.000+03:00

Shabbat (Saturday) morning: I'm fixing an errant corner of the sheet that has popped off the end of the mattress when I realize the music of the fan has stopped, turn about to see that I have knocked the plug out of the wall.

I look at my husband and my husband looks at me. It is hot and dry where we are and I fan makes all the difference in the world. What is there to do? The room is already getting warm, and by the time afternoon hits one may as well turn the oven on and pop into that.

And in the afternoon we will want to nap.

Everything isn't lost of course; there is till a child's room or the living room, but I like my bed, my pillow, with the stack of books piled behind me; and I start to think about the earlier post I wrote and a comment I posted on another blog.

It would be so easy to just plug the fan in. My room would be nice and cool again, and hey, it really doesn't feel like work, and it would make the day of rest so much easier.

But I wouldn't do it.

Just like I won't take even a sip of water on a fast day, unless it was necessary for my health. Or eat milk right after meat or do many such things.

It all comes down to belief; that there is a reason for my being, and that reason is G-d, and there is a way of being, and that way was set down by G-d, and there is something my soul thirsts for, something my soul desires, more a sip of water when I'm thirsty or the cool breeze of a fan; the thirst, the desire, is to do the laws of the Torah, to follow the commands, even when I don't understand them all or my conscious mind, my body wants to do something else.

And that is why I feel unhappy with myself when these things matter to me more than the mitzvot (commandments) do; in a way, what has happened is I have disconnected myself from that very important aspect of myself, my soul. I am 46 years old and it bothers me that I am still at such a childlike level in life that all I can think of is what the body wants. I don't want to deny the needs and wants of my body, but I wish they were subordinate to the needs of the soul.

Yet on a fast days what goes round and round my head is how uncomfortable the body is, not how sad or repentent the sould is. I've subordinated the soul to the body. I think of "when will the fast end? How many more hours?" Not that Jerusalem was lost, that we no longer have the Temple built and are at constant war with our neighbors. Not, on Yom Kippur, about how I am being judged, how I am right before G-d. No, it is the body that gets most of my attention, and that is something I wish I could change in myself.

The body passes, the soul endures. I should be using my body for the sake of my soul.

I do try; but I haven't reached that place in life yet.

Cootie catcher

2004-07-09T17:23:00.000+03:00

Tell me the inventor of this insufferable game is an adult so I can go smack them upside the head.

I think this is the fifth game we are playing (between the family members it is more like fifteenth); I'm running out of questions to ask.

For those who don't know what a cootie catcher is...be thankful. Be ever so thankful.

Is anyone else having trouble with blogroll?

2004-07-09T16:43:00.000+03:00

Or is it just my dumb luck?

Sisyphus reborn

2004-07-09T11:38:00.000+03:00

At least that is what I feel like when I try and clean the marpeset (porch) of the woman I work for.

You see she has bougainvillea;
(for those, like me, whose knowledge of plants reaches its nadir)

They are very pretty plants.
They come in reddish-pink and white.
The shed their blossoms worse than a cat sheds hair in the summer.

THESE BLOSSOMS FLY ALL OVER THE DARN PORCH!!!
and I sweep them up. And of course once I have a dustpan full of blossoms the wind comes and my nice pile, waiting collecting goes flying across the ground at records reaching light speed. Okay, that's hyperbole.

But I have to keep sweeping up the blossoms I swept up and everytime I do this job I go ARRGGGGGGGGGGHHHH!!!

But the fact is the woman I work for is so sweet--well both women I work for-- are so wonderful, such really good people to work for that I try and go the extra distance for them.

If I liked her less I wouldn't care as much about having the porch clean, or there bathroom nice. I would just do my job and get out of there; but they treat me so nicely, and with such kindness and appreciation for the work I do that I want to make things as perfect as I can; not just for the money, but for the knowledge that I left their place a bit better than they expected.

And bosses, you should keep that in mind; if you treat people well they will want to do well for you. Just plain ole' horse sense there.

If you forget who Sisyphus is click here.

These things make me want to cry

2004-07-09T07:13:00.000+03:00

Spiced Sass posted about how terrorist many terrorist come from PA colleges, and how these PA colleges refuse to stop the promotion of terrorism despite recieving USA funds; great way to use our money, right?

But what got to me was the picture.

Look at that child atop her father's shoulders with the fake bombs strapped to her stomach. Doesn't it just make you all woozy with the love and affection her father has for her?

Makes me want to scream really. It makes me wish I could be there and pull that child down from her father's shoulders and bring her home to my house were my ten and my five year old girls do such things as have parties for their stuffed bunnies, or make paper crowns, or draw pictures of birds or play with their paper dolls.

Then you go over to Hasidic Rebbele and find a link to a movie of 11 year old girls who are looking forward shahada(martyrdom among other meanings) Basically, the are aspiring to blowing themselves and Jews they have never met to smithereens.

My ten is starting to get interestd in her appearance. She gazes into the mirror to make sure her hair is nice. Over the next few years the crowns and bunny birthday parties will give way to nail polish, perfume and make-up. Sometime between now and 16 she will start noticing boys. She will start thinking, really thinking, about what she wants to be when she grows up, and the list won't be "An artist, and a musician, and a veternarian, except I don't like blood.." but will be more a more realistic goal of what she could be.

And sometime after that she will, hopefully, really be looking at boys and thinking "who" she wants to marry. What kind of a man she wants to settle down with. Should she work or stay home with the kids?

These girls aren't planning to make it that far. There planning to sow their body parts on the streets of Jerusalem. They look forward to that day. It is a good thing for them. When asked whether it was better, peace
and full rights or shahada, the young girl answerer "shahada" that she will have full rights in paradise. So it isn't about peace.

It is about killing Jews.

Children represent the future; what will be. They are the hope, the blessing on this world. What future do these girls picture for themselves? Their people?

And what future do the Palestinians have for the rest of the world.

Lets say they succeed in getting rid of all the Jews; me, my family and friends, my community.

Who would come next?

If they aren't dying for peace and full rights what are they dying for?

Please also take a look at this link

And the importance of breast examination

2004-07-09T06:06:00.000+03:00

Every month has been made abundantly clear to me.
Routinely, without fail.

What my mom has is not really breast cancer but a lymphoma.
But she found it because she was religous about examining her breasts despite the fact that we have no history of breast cancer in the family.

This particular breast cancer is so slow growing that by the time it, historically, would have caused a problem the vicitim was most likely dead of something else. But we are living longer, we should live healthier also.

Most likely, as we, as a world, live longer, more of these illnesses are likely to show up. Science has to do its part in eliminating or curing diseases of old age; and we have to do our part as well.

Living longer and better.

Wow, I sound like a t.v. spot.

Just talked to my mother

2004-07-08T21:30:00.000+03:00

She sounds great!!! She told me the type of lymphoma that she has is
1)very easily treated
2)very slow growing.

So even if they can't get rid of it, it takes about 10-15 years to kill you. My mother is now 70. (And G-d willing will live to be 120 years!) but it takes a bit of the fear down.

Again I want to thank everyone who wrote/thought/prayed for my mom. It meant the world to me.....

And it means a lot to her also. She sends her appreciation.

Thank you so much for being there!

I am feeling so good now!!!

Well good news bad news

2004-07-08T04:41:00.000+03:00

The bad news of course was the mass they removed was malignant, the good news is it is encapsulated and that means it hasn't gone anywhere else. I won't know much else for another few days.

I went to bed crying and I woke up at 4:00 or so and tried to sleep again, couldn't so now it is 4:30. And I see your kind words, Robin, Pincushion, Jim, Mythago, and it means the world to me. That's why I ended up blogging this even though I thought maybe I shouldn't blog about my mom's health, but it was another way of reaching out and adding her to other's prayers.

Anyway, thank you all, and all those who just prayed or had her in mind or whatever. It does make me feel good, and I thank you.

My mother is out of surgery

2004-07-07T22:28:00.000+03:00

But the mass they removed is malignant. The don't know what the treatment will be yet.

i know that is in my comment but like i said blogeris not working well and i wanted people to know.

My Mother will be in Surgery today

2004-07-07T06:12:00.000+03:00

Around 2pm EST. Please keep her in mind.
For those who are Jewish her Hebrew name is Masha Aaron bat Batya. Anyone who does Tehilim and stops by here, include her please.

I don't think I will post again till tomorrow when I find out what has happened.

DON'T IT MAKE A MOM'S HEART BEAT PROUD!

2004-07-06T18:30:00.000+03:00

OR THE WONDERULNESS OF CHILDREN

First : my five year old declared she loved me more than anyoneelse in the world, except her father and Hashem (G-d). She loves us all equally. She also says I smell good, like I just woke up smell. That was probably because i was sleeping; but i got what she meant: that warm, cuddle up smell.

Second : both my 10 and 5 schelpped up the hill to the makolet (grocery store) to buy the fixings for our traditional break the fast meal--ice cream (which mom forgot to do yesterday) and milk (ditto). up and down by themselves and they came to help me clean up the sprinkles that opened up and spilled at the door. (little one was carrying them in her pocket) 10 is very shy about people so this is a big step for her.

And now they are in the kitchen making the tuna salad. 10 has taken out a platter and is arranging the tuna with crackers all about.

All this WITHOUT FIGHTING!!!

Tuna platter looks great.

Mama's proud.

3 weeks

2004-07-06T11:42:00.000+03:00

Today is the 17th of Tammuz on the Hebrew calendar, It is a fast day, commemerating the seige of Jerusalem, which eventually leads ot the destruction of the Temple
on Tisha B'av, three weeks later. It is a period of mourning, increasing mourning.

And I wonder what is wrong with me that I can't feel this loss to the bone. I love Israel; I moved here because she is beautiful to me. Jerusalem, the Kotel (Western Wall/Wailing Wall in English).

Why can't my mind dwell on more than the physical fact that I'm thirsty already and there are about 8 hrs more to the fast? What is wrong with me anyway?

SUMMER FUN

2004-07-05T20:20:00.000+03:00

Got a couple of bored kids hanging about? Want to sneak in some learning with some fun?

I owe this post to THE QUEEN OF ALL EVIL.

Poor Rosemary; her dog dog got skunked.It is no fun having a smelly dog. It is no fun at all. And poor Rosemary was out of tomato juice. But Rosemary, being the smart Queen that she is found this recipe.

WAIT A MINUTE!!! THAT'S NOT FUN. Nope,that isn't fun; and I don't think your kids want to deskunk a dog; and I don't think you want to skunk the dog just in case it turns out that they've been dying to deskunk a dog their whole lives. What's fun is the recipe. The recipe is almost the same recipe you need to make a ROCKET.

Now aren't rockets fun??? I'm quoting the instructions here, but do go to the site; there are additional experiments, as well as a great explanation for what is going on.

Your film can rocket makes a pleasant pop, but if you want to move up to the big time blasters, you'll need an empty plastic soda bottle (1 liter is best but 2 liters will work), a cork, some baking soda, and either vinegar or lemon juice. Before starting, make sure the bottle is clean and dry, and make sure the cork fits snugly in the bottle opening, but loosely enough that you can pull it out with your fingers. Also, make sure you use a cork and not a screw top. Conduct this experiment outdoors. Place about 4 teaspoons of baking soda in the bottom of the bottle. Pour 1/2 cup of either vinegar or lemon juice into a cup with a spout and get ready for action. Pour the liquid into the bottle and quickly put the cork in and shake the bottle back and forth several times. Aim the cork away from people and breakable items. It will fly out with considerable force!

Do supervise children with this experiment. Lost eyes and bloody noses are not fun.

Now Rachel Ann is going to actually save this unlike she did five minutes ago, causing her to lose the whole thing.

I never knew she had it so hard.

2004-07-05T15:44:00.000+03:00

Verbatim

"Ima don't talk to me. I'm on an ant killing hunt."
(sounds of smothing smashing against the floor)
"Do you know how many ants we have? We have hundreds of them."
(deep sigh)
"I can't kill them all today"
(sounds of feet stamping up the floor.)

and now from upstairs I hear this little conversation

E,10; "T, you are bothering me!"
T,5; "You aren't the king of me!"
E,"IMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

I'm changing my name and not telling anyone.

So my kids are off

2004-07-05T08:31:00.000+03:00

to their second day of camp; which actually means back to school, as their camps are based in the schools. It is a small Yishuv.

Yesterday they went swimming; start this camp off right!!! A fifteen minute bus trip and then cool water and sunburns. When the day is hot enough that you can put your dinner out at three and have it cooked for you by five, water is good. Water is very, very good.

They also went and visited another Yishuv which was having some kind of something over there. I'm not exactly sure what it was as I was working; a good friend took them. But they got cotton candy, always nice, and got to bounce on bouncy balls and see another parcel of land and meet new people. They didn't get home till late, which of course meant dinner late, which of course meant bedtime late, which of course waking them was akin to waking hibernating bears. I have never tried to wake a hibernating bear before but it is not on my list of things to try just once in your life. I value my limbs. Luckily children are smaller than bears and have less claws.

Since my younger daughter's camp is on the way to my older daughter's camp we parents have decided that said older child would accompany said younger child up the hill and save us old fogeys a trip. Daughter (10) is so very excited and happy about her new job of escorting younger sister to and from camp that we decided to make this a permanent responsibility. We also plan to sleep at night with one eye open.

Ten year old girls are fun. They are just starting that period when they can't decide if they are kids or big people. Mostly they still are kids; but they are getting there, and sometimes they aren't sure they want to be there. And those hormones are cooking! She can go from sweet and wonderful to mean in 1/2 second flat. (sigh) Soon it will be time to be hated by a superior being once again. I've been through this with one daughter, I'm really not looking forward to it, but I am prepared; my emotional armor is prepared and I want take her anger as hard as I did with the first one.

That was hard; my oldest is a wonderful person, but for about 12 years I was so loved up by her that when she switched to hating me, well it was hard. Intellectually I knew what was going on, but emotionally? Like everything else about parenting there is knowing and there is knowing, and I didn't really know. And because I really didn't know, I did a lot of things wrong; mainly letting it get to me. Letting it get to me meant I would try and be her best friend and then try and be her mom again and it just didn't work. Leting it get to me meant my nights were spent sometimes going over and over the day and wondering what I did wrong, why she hated me, how I could win back her love.

Her love was always there of course, but it was hidden by her attempts to free herself to be someone of her own making; someone she saw through her own eyes. A hard time on her too, because what she really needed was a mom who was stronger than she was and I messed up with that.

So we struggled; and we got past this. She is now an adult; beautiful, smart and self-sufficient. She does much better at life than I could at her age, and I am very proud of her.

All my kids are growing up and going off into the world. Soon my oldest son, the second born, will be in the army. Scares the hell out of me of course, but this was his choice to go ahead and do this and not return to the US. He's been trying to get himself in shape so when confronted by angry faced men screaming at him to run faster, he will shine.

Smart kid.

I am blessed.