August 01, 2004
They are using toys.
Toys you say? Yes toys. Specifically those toys that make noise.
Talking dolls. Talking buses. Talking pianos. Innocent toys indeed!
These vicious,vile creations are designed to entice well meaning aunts and grandparents with thoughts of lovely little children rocking their babies, or learning to count the fun and friendly way.
Over and over again the grating sounds of "mama, I love you" or "A see the Alligator, B ride the bus" or "London Bridge" all at decibels guaranteed to slowly destroy the minds of all adults.
Then, when we are simpering, drooling fools, the aliens will come down. Oh, they will charm us, offering us an end to our torture, and we will gladly acquiesce to all their "little" requests. Massaging their yardis, preparing their (stinky) palage , cleaning their---oh, I can't say it! It is much too awful!
Well, I'm on to you, you alien scum!!!! I will not let you enslave the earth! UNITE PARENTS OF THE WORLD!!!! DEFEAT THE ALIENS!!! DON'T LET THESE TOYS INTO YOUR HOUSE!!!!