July 28, 2004
I am hoping that by asking in depth questions, that by really examining the issue outside of terms of right and wrong, but of feelings and needs and how they can best be met, that one day abortion will end of its own.
First I want to thank everyone for their comments.
Secondly, I have more questions on your comments. I hope you don't mind.
Bonnie: I agree in terms of wishing that abortion didn't exist at all. My end goal is, and always has been to see that abortion becomes moot. I don't expect to see that in my lifetime or even necessarily feel it will occur in my children's lifetime. But hopefully some day. What do you think we could do to make that goal come true? What are the steps in your mind?
Linda; I agree with you regarding the dependency of the fetus, which is why I give more weight to the needs of the mother. But I am not sure that I agree with you in terms of simply letting it be the moms decision. I do feel some obligation to the unborn beings. Also, you wrote: I have said that I would do it differently if I had the choice again, but that is in hindsight. In your post you describe it as having seen where that went You also describe feeling regret almost immediately, and regretting with a vengeance later.
Was it simply having another child that made you rethink whether or not you could have emotionally survived if you had carried the pregnancy to term? Or did something else click in your mind? What would you say to a woman if she came to you in the same predicament? While it would have been harder to continue in school, do you feel it would have been (nearly)impossible? What would it require to make it less difficult?
Random Penseur; do you feel that the fetus has any rights? If so what are they? What do you feel as a man is your obligation towards abortion? What was it about the article that shook you (and your wife)?
Lauren; I always believe the physical saftey of the mom comes first and I am glad that abortion is there to help you in such extreme cases. I hope in the future we will have a way to extract the fetus without killing it and placing it in an artificial womb, or in a willing host-mother, (biological mom wouldn't lose her rights).Would either of those solutions work for you? If not, why not? I am also truly sorry that your questions weren't answered. That is the type of debate that is most important to me. If we want abortion to end then it is necessary to understand the reasons for the abortion and help end those reasons in the best way possible; a continued war will do no one any good.
Mythago; first of all my friend, WRITE ME!!! okay that was mean. But I'm still waiting.
Secondly Rachel Ann, I'm a little bothered by the your starting assumption that there isn't any consideration of the pros and cons, that women are not currently given any reason to consider whether and why they want an abortion. I know you are bothered. I do think that many abortion clinics provide, at least now, some counseling. I wonder if it really is enough. I know full well that Rachel's Vineyard and most similar groups are pro-life and often Catholic. Still they are full of women who regret their chioce. Is there anything else that you feel could be done in abortion clincs to prevent regrets later on in life?
Robin P: What do you think should be offered to women to help them continue their pregnancies? What kind of outside support is necessary? What would you personally offer to a friend or loved one to convince them to continue their pregnancy (if the women's health wasn't an issue)? What do you feel that we as a society should offer?
Also Robin you said If girls don't know how to prevent pregnancy then they shouldn't be having sex at all. That is the parent's responsiblity to make sure their kids know about sex. What responsibilty, if any, do you think schools bear in sex education? (and if your answer is other than none) When should it begin and how should it be taught?
Lex: first, I am very glad for the health of your child. That must have been a fearful time for you; I am glad everything worked out well. I do wonder how many other happy outcomes MAY have resulted if parents did what you did waited and gone through the pregnancy. I will ask you the same question as I asked Random Pensaur; what is your role as a man in terms of the abortion issue. (and don't apologize for it taking so long. Haloscan doesn't give people a lot of room to really say their piece!)
Pincushion: I agree with you. I believe the unborn has sanctity; I ask you the same thing that I asked Robin. personally and as a society as a whole, what should be offered to women to convince them to continue a preganancy that doesn't risk their health?
Ampersand; I agree with you 100% regarding ways to reduce abortion.Could you also fill us in a bit more on what the various countries with legal but low levels of abortion are doing that you feel we could implement here? And I ask you the same questions that I've asked the other men. What is your role vis-a-vis abortion?
I believe I covered everyone so far. I want to move away from anger and move into solutions. Thanking everyone so far and hoping you all will continue this discussion.